Scammers Use Fake Emergencies To Take Advantage Of Loved Ones

Use Fake Emergencies to Take Advantage of Loved Ones

Emergency scams, sometimes called “grandparent scams,” prey on the willingness of an unsuspecting, worried individual to help friends and family in need. Often, they will impersonate their targets' loved ones, make up an urgent situation, and plead for help and money. Thanks to social media sites, scammers can look up information and offer plausible stories. They may even incorporate nicknames and real travel plans into the con to convince their targets.

How the Scam Works:

Emergency scams are about a family member or friend in a dire situation. You get a call, email, or social media message from someone claiming to be a family member in distress. They may say they've been arrested while traveling overseas, or there was an accident, medical emergency, or other calamity. They provide convincing details, such as family names and school details.

A common version is the "grandparent scam," where the con artist contacts a grandparent claiming to be their grandchild and asking for money. The plea is so persuasive that the grandparent wires money to the scammer, to only find out later their family member was safe and sound all along. This scam can also work in reverse, where the “grandparent” calls their grandchild pleading for help due to a hostage situation.

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Why Do People Fake Orgasms?

There are many reasons a person might fake an orgasm. Better communication, accurate anatomical ... [+] knowledge, and medical check-ups can help partners find equal pleasure.

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Santa’s reindeer are not the only ones who are horny during the holiday season.

During cultural celebrations like Christmas and Eid-al-Fitr, sex topics trend on search engines and social media. Retailers like 7-Eleven sell more condoms on Christmas Day than on nearly any other day of the year. And since so many people in the United States have sex in December, birth rates spike during the summer months. When partners have a vacation from work, they may have more time to share intimacy.

However, all might not be merry and bright in the bedroom. In a 2019 study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior, researchers found that nearly 60% of women have faked an orgasm. Other studies suggest that around 25% of men have faked orgasms.

Why do so many people fake orgasms, and how can couples have better sex?

Potential Reasons for Faking Orgasms

Orgasms are an important component of your sexual health, and they can have several benefits. When you orgasm, your blood pressure and heart rate increase while the muscles in and around your genitals contract. Orgasms can help alleviate stress because your body produces ‘feel-good’ hormones like dopamine and oxytocin. With your muscles relaxed after an orgasm, you might fall asleep more easily.

Sex is complicated, and so are orgasms — even the fake ones. Some people may fake orgasms because of communication difficulties in their relationship. In the Archives of Sexual Behavior report cited above, most of the women who had faked orgasms wanted to talk to their partner about the issue but did not know how to broach the topic. 42% of those women who kept silent did not want to hurt their partner’s feelings. Around 80% of the participants kept their fake orgasms a secret because they were embarrassed or because they were not comfortable discussing the details of the sexual encounter with their partner.

These reasons for keeping quiet about an orgasm reflect some common motivations people have for faking in the first place. A person may pretend to have an orgasm to protect their lover’s feelings. If one person has already climaxed, the other partner might feel pressured to pretend that they, too, have finished. Someone might consent to sex, but they might not find the encounter to be satisfying. Instead of stopping the encounter outright and expressing their displeasure, that person might instead pretend to orgasm to try to bring the intercourse to a close.

While communication barriers can cause pleasure disparities, fake orgasms might also signal an underlying medical issue. Orgasm dysfunction can be a symptom of several conditions. Depression, anxiety, and fatigue might reduce a person’s libido. Vaginal dryness, vaginismus, yeast and urinary tract infections, or chronic pelvic pain can make sex uncomfortable. Some people with penises fake orgasms because they struggle with a condition called delayed ejaculation, or DE. In many ways, DE is the opposite of premature ejaculation. Someone who has DE might find that they need more time and more stimulation to climax in comparison to their partners.

In many situations, a person with orgasm dysfunction will feel frustrated if they struggle to climax. They might exaggerate their moans to try to turn themselves on. Some people fake a climax and hope that by pretending, they can urge their body to actually orgasm.

Consequences of Faking Orgasms

Misinformation about anatomy may also perpetuate misunderstandings about sexual pleasure. Up to 50% of women are unsatisfied with how often they orgasm. Around 80% of women struggle to orgasm from vaginal sex alone, according to a 2017 study from The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. In that study, 37% of the women surveyed could not orgasm without clitoral stimulation. However, in a 2019 YouGov survey, 31% of male participants could not identify the clitoris on an anatomy chart. Better anatomical knowledge may empower partners to feel more confident when they communicate about their sexual desires.

In some relationships, orgasm disparity might be completely normal. For example, some asexual people may not enjoy the experience of orgasming. A person might help their partner climax during sex without expecting their partner to reciprocate. However, unless a couple has communicated about these orgasm disparities, fake orgasms might signal an unbalanced relationship.

If fake orgasms are a routine part of a couple’s routine, resentment can grow. When a person fakes an orgasm, their partner may have misconceptions about the interaction. If a woman pretends to moan even if she is not satisfied, her husband might repeat those same movements in the future with the belief that he is actually pleasing his wife. If a man pretends to orgasm while having anal sex, his boyfriend might not think that the couple might benefit from more foreplay or sex toys. Over time, these misunderstandings can cause sex to feel like a chore.

Actively communicating before, during, and after sex can help ensure that partners are getting their needs met. These conversations might include questions like the following:

Does this still feel good?

What do you want next?

You’re being louder/quieter than usual. How are you feeling? Do you want to try a new position or take a break?

I thought I’d like this position, but I’m not feeling it tonight. Can we try something else?

I really like when we use this sex toy. What do you think about it? Are there toys you enjoy using on yourself or on me

Cognitive Decline In A Loved One: How To Spot It, What To Do

In this article, I’ll share two scenarios drawn from real-life circumstances I’ve observed. One points to the danger of letting cognitive decline remain unaddressed. The other lays out the thought process of a perfectly sharp retiree who wants to address the long-term potential for cognitive decline.

Both scenarios point to the foundational role of healthcare and finance power of attorney documents. In a follow-up article, I’ll share additional approaches and resources for addressing both mild and severe cognitive decline.

Painful as these topics are, their relevance is widespread. Consider the sheer number of aging people. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, the risk of dementia increases with advancing age. The population of Americans aged 65 and older is projected to grow from 58 million in 2021 to 88 million by 2050.

Then there’s the potential for abuse, including financial abuse. According to the National Council on Aging, up to five million older Americans are abused every year, and losses specific to financial abuse are estimated to be $36.5 billion dollars annually.

Hard as it is, families need to watch for signs of cognitive decline and be ready to have difficult conversations.

One spouse covering for the other

This real-life example (with a changed name) demonstrates the need for a power of attorney for healthcare and finance.

Lucille was 80 when her husband noticed her memory “slipping.” She became routinely irritable. She would forget where she placed things or that there was food cooking on the stove. She was paranoid, thinking things were being taken from her because she couldn’t find them. She stopped driving, ate poorly, and started making notes on just about everything.

However, Lucille’s memory loss and confusion was not obvious to the extended family. Her husband had become an expert at covering the gaps, responding for her, and managing her day-to-day needs. When he died suddenly, the family quickly saw how significant Lucille’s decline was: she could not manage medicine, would become confused on time, day, and location, and started to have some difficulty verbalizing thoughts.

Everything indicated she needed some significant help. Now the family had to scramble to try and find the resources most appropriate for her needs.

That’s hard enough—but now consider how much harder it is when no properly executed power of attorney for healthcare and finance is in place. In that case, guardianship legal proceedings may be necessary before meaningful intervention can be taken. Guardianship is the drastic step of removing an individual’s rights and assigning them to another individual to act in the ward’s best interest.

Far better is to have power of attorney documents in place ahead of a major decline. Then, trusted agents can act on behalf of an individual in ways the person would want, so long as those wishes don’t run afoul of the law. Taking the time to execute power of attorney documents for health and finance is critical for every adult

Proactive planning at retirement age

Juanita is 65 years old. She is divorced and has three grown daughters. Juanita is fiercely independent. She was a C-suite executive for many years, built a retirement nest egg, and after she retired, moved to Wisconsin to be near her children and grandchildren.

Juanita is as cognitively sharp today as she was in her 20s. She purchased a long-term-care insurance policy years ago in the event she ever needs more extensive care. Her power of attorney documents are complete, and her agents and doctors all have copies. She has a financial advisory team that she meets with annually to review her investments and financial plan to make sure she is on track. She has talked with her agents and children about her healthcare needs/wishes, her thoughts about long-term care and her financial picture. She wants to live independently, control her finances, and handle her medical care for as long as possible, but she understands she may need help one day and the best way for her to ensure her wishes are followed is to communicate them, and communicate them often.

Juanita is following a pattern of proactive planning that more people are engaging in today. Her willingness to do that planning and communicate with her family will be tremendously helpful if she experiences a cognitive decline. This way, her family and advisers will know and understand her wishes.

Still, even with proactive planning, addressing cognitive decline is very difficult for families. Her daughters should be aware of warning signs to look out for, such as:

· Difficulty walking, balancing and mobility

· Noticeable difference in dexterity

· Confusion

· Changes in mood

· Unexplained bruising

· Forgetfulness

· Leaving burning stove unattended

· Spouse answering for the person, minimizing behaviors

· Hoarding

· Failure to manage medications

· Poor hygiene

· Change in sleep patterns

· Inability to attend to housekeeping

· Poor diet

· Late payment notices, collections

· Unsafe driving

· Falling victim to fraud or exploitation with finances, products, or services

If cognitive decline is suspected, time may be of the essence. There are sometimes treatment approaches that can slow that decline. If physical decline is also a concern, remedial measures should be taken quickly to improve safety.

Difficult conversations

It’s much more challenging to have difficult conversations with someone in Lucille’s situation than someone with more mild decline. But regardless, conversations need to happen.

Be sensitive about when, where, and how they take place. Late afternoons and evenings are often not best, particularly if the loved one experiences sundowner’s syndrome—a state of confusion occurring later in the afternoon and night often found in individuals with dementia or Alzheimer’s.

Being patient is critical. Include close friends and family if appropriate. Avoid criticizing or pressuring. It’s important to be sensitive and listen carefully to the fears and concerns the loved one may have.

Deal with topics a piece at a time so that the conversation does not become overwhelming. Reassure the person of your concern that they are safe and cared for. Try to understand what their hopes are for the future, and how they envision their aging lifestyle.

Once you have had the conversation, you can move into the next stage of developing a plan for the right support depending on the needs. Not having the conversation or waiting until the situation is dire, as in the case of Lucille, is risk

Be aware of resources
In today’s world there are many options that can be explored that allow for greater individual autonomy while still meeting needs caused by a cognitive decline. In the next article, we will explore a variety of resources available to families as they navigate the needs of a loved one suffering from mild to more severe cognitive decline.

So here’s how I see it…

You pretty much just have 2 choices.

You could close this window and walk away. Sure, you’ll still might be able to figure out your dating life… but you’ll never really experience how powerful, seductive, and attractive you could really be…

And never reach your potential… or…readmore